


He Likes It Tender.

by TheatricalPlacenta



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Anal Sex, Barebacking, Canon-Typical Violence, Deepthroating, Don't kick me out of the fandom, Face-Fucking, Fuck I need jesus, Hide is totally in to it so..., M/M, No Lube, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex, Sort of non-con?, Violence, exactly what you'd fucking expect from a TG fic, sad gay boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-07 03:34:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4247754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheatricalPlacenta/pseuds/TheatricalPlacenta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hide never expected to end up in a ghouls hands, writhing in maddening pleasure as the promise of death hung heavy over his head, but even then  he finds himself pleading for more. He's drowning, sinking further down in to this spiral of never ending satisfaction, willingly filling his lungs with the poisoned water that is Kaneki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Consuming Your Everything.

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to continue. LUCKY YOU GUYS. Tags will change as story goes on.

"Is it scary?" he asks, burying himself inside the blond for the hundredth time, Hides nails practically peeling back as they tugged and tore at the sheets. Every word the raven said made him shiver, mouth open in a silent scream of both fear and pleasure, thighs pressing harder into that deliciously toned body.

"Want to be a part of my collection?" Hide could hear the maliciousness in his voice, cringing as he peered around with bleary eyes at the limbs scattered around the room, faces hanging from the wall like some sick form of art, the smell making him feel a little more than ill "You're so cute....what was your name again?" he laughed cruelly, acting as if he'd actually forgotten.

Hide lifted his head, crying out as Kanekis dick pushed even deeper, the ghouls hips moving like a piston. He didn't even seem to be really enjoying himself until he met Hides eye, a smirk curling on to those bloodied lips "Ahh right...Hide" he pushed his body forward, Hides ass being hoisted up, back curling as Kaneki now loomed over him "You're almost too good to eat..." His lips were so close, tongue slowly slipping out to leisurely run over his chin, licking up the drool that hide just couldn't manage to keep in his mouth.

"But you...know" Kaneki grunted, giving one particular hard thrust that had Hide throwing his head back, cum dribbling out on to his stomach for the fifth time that night as another dry orgasm was squeezed out of him "I can't help but have a...bite" 

Hide held his breath, tears slipping down over his temples, shuddering as Kanekis hair lightly tickled his collarbone...that tongue roughly lapping at his sweat and semen covered chest. He couldn't even moan when his nipple was clenched tightly between Kanekis teeth, he just laid there, dick twitching as the ghoul sucked on his reddened flesh without remorse...

He'd done that to his cock earlier too...held him down and swallowed him whole, sucking him like some crazy human vacuum....not the sexiest way to describe it, and Kaneki wasn't even human...but it was the best he could do right now what with his brain barely functioning.

"I wanna coat your insides" Kaneki breathed, releasing his abused nipple with a laugh, movements becoming a little jerky and uncoordinated "Hey Hide? Do you mind?" He called to him, the blond's hands mindlessly roaming his body, one moving to grab his dick while the other moved to practically rip out his hair.

He felt like he was being carved out, his ass wide open and ready for Kaneki to fill it again each time he pulled out, squeezing the ravens length in a desperate attempt to hold him inside for just a few seconds longer.

"F-fuck!" Hide choked, legs shaking as his toes curled to the point that they began to hurt.

Kanekis breathing became laboured, growling almost like an animal as he grabbed Hides hips, pounding into him with a bruising force.

Despite this being one of the most terrifying experiences of his life, Hide could in no way deny this was probably the best sex he'd ever had...

He'd never been manhandled so much...ready to cum at command....

"Hide" the larger man sighed, face looking almost peaceful as he reached his climax, the blond biting his lip as a searing heat filled his ass, overflowing as Kaneki pushed inside completely; semen running down his ass crack and back to soak into the sheets. 

And Hide was coming again, his cry of pleasure sounding more upset than anything...could one cum too much that it began to hurt?

Well he wasn't sure...He didn't know if this was pain. He liked it so that couldn't be it, right? His nerves were on fire, and the satisfaction he was feeling was endless. It was like his groin was filled with fire, and the flames kept spreading out until they consumed his legs and torso, licking at his muscles until they felt as if they were melting.

Hide reached up, grabbing at the ghouls face with shaky hands, knuckles bone white from pulling on the sheets too hard. The deep bite on his shoulder from much earlier that evening ached painfully, oozing thick red blood on to the bed, staining the already discoloured white sheets a deep crimson. Kaneki let the human pull him down, humming in contentment as the blond dipped his tongue in and out of his mouth, the raven tempted to just bite it off…

It was so soft...so timid as it curled behind his teeth.

"Next week..." Hides voice cracked, lips brushing the ravens as he spoke, Kaneki raising a delicate eyebrow as his little victim continued "I wanna...do this next week..."

"You think you'll be alive next week?" Kaneki laughed darkly, a lewd squelching sound reaching their ears as he swivelled his hips, dick still hard as a rock inside Hide "I think you might just die from this..." he moved back, pulling out of Hides hands as he started to fuck the male under him again "You won't even get to experience me gutting you..."

Hide was sobbing, soundless wailing escaping him as he tossed his head from side to side.

"I've already torn you up from the inside..." Kaneki held Hides thighs to his chest, head bound by strong calves as Hide hooked his ankles behind the ghouls head. Kaneki looked down between them to observe the white sticky mess that eased his entry, tongue roving over his teeth as he hungrily watched it bubble and spill over the blonds ass, his member forcing more and more out each time. There just wasn't enough room inside him.

Kaneki would just have to open him wider wouldn't he?

"Agh!-" 

"You took it better than I thought you would though" Kaneki sounded thoughtful "There isn't even blood" he turned his head to lightly nip at Hides knee "Not like this one girl I had last week" his smile was sinister, Hide just barely able to focus on his face as more tears flowed over "She's on the wall over there if you want to see...she wasn't too bad looking"

Hide was so fucked...not just his ass, but in general. There was no fucking way he could get out of this...

"So that’s it …?" He wheezed, the air being forced out of his lungs with each brutal plunge Kanekis dick made inside him "You just...fuck people...and eat them?"

Kaneki stared unblinking from the corner of his eye, lips forming a little suction cup as he made an angry red hickey over that perfect pale skin. With a ‘pop’ he took his mouth away, smirking as he rolled his hips sensually “I like my meat tender...have to pound it first…”

At that Hide tightened around Kaneki, dick twitching in excitement.

This human was filthy.

Wanting to do this again even after he's seen what sort of monster Kaneki is, and getting turned on by the thought of getting literally tenderized. 

He wasn't stupid, many others had pleaded to become his lover...never rat him out...love him despite his cannibalistic tendencies. They begged...fear dripping from every word they spoke. But Hide seemed almost honest. He knew all along what he was, and still he stayed by his side. It was disturbing even to Kaneki. 

"You must have a pretty hard life" Kaneki muttered, lips only slightly upturned now as he watched the human writhe beneath him "...thinking that this situation is better than whatever you have..."

Hide couldn't lie...this really was fucked up...but christ, he'd never felt more alive.

"Harder" he begged, pushing back to meet Kanekis hips, honey brown eyes meeting slate. 

Kaneki immediately fulfilled that daring request, fucking Hide now in an almost frenzied state. God he loved it when people broke....crumbled into a sobbing mess in front of him...their pathetic little mind throwing out all better judgement and morals as self preservation took over.

It was adorable...it made him want to tear them apart ever so slowly…

“Fu-fuck...Ka-neki” Hide choked, unable to catch his breath, eyes rolling in to the back of his head. He was struggling to suck air into his lungs, face turning red as his back arched, convulsing from yet another dry orgasm. There just wasn't anything left inside him it seemed.

Never had Kaneki heard his name escape a human in such an exquisite way, it made his erection throb with need, though he couldn't help but think that continuing with this wouldn't be as fun with Hide starting to black out.

“Ahh...it was good while it lasted” His eyes narrowed, red and black staring down at the unconscious human, hips still shallowly rocking back and forth despite the situation. His mouth watered, drool dripping down his chin as Kaneki released Hides legs, moving to loom over the fragile man “Time for dessert?...maybe?” he placed the gentlest kiss to Hides mop of blond locks, inhaling deeply before moving down to lick just under his eye, moaning as the sweetest tears coated his taste buds.

“Definitely”


	2. A Few Bites Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did Hide find himself in OS!Kanekis nasty clutches? Was it a date gone awry? Perhaps a fateful encounter?
> 
> I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all this ....exposition? I thought this chapter was super sad, but as I was editing I found that it didn't really make me all too emotional to read. I either went numb to it, or it really is just stupid

✖✖✖

 

It wasn't uncommon to have encounters with a ghoul these days, so just about anyone seemed to have a tragic back story to tell. With it being so frequent it became something that was no longer shocking or scaring to anyone, death and destruction just becoming apart of everyday life, screams and cries blending into the background. If you listened hard enough, really strained yourself to reach beyond the white noise of buzzing trams and shouty vendors, you could maybe…just maybe hear them.

People; Children, mothers, and fathers. All of them begging and pleading for someone to help them, but no one ever did, and no one ever would.

You could see it in their eyes, the pedestrians who passed without a word, the shop keepers who smiled as they gave you your groceries. They’d all smile in return to your kind greeting or farewell, they’d hold up a conversation with you if you initiated it, but you could always tell the one thing on their mind wasn't what they were actively discussing. You knew what they were thinking, because you thought it too. “This person could kill me. They could be a monster.” The notion consumed you, the person in front of you, and every living being that didn't feed on human flesh. 

Everyone shared the same look; Terror.

The city was crawling with it, like disgusting little bugs, squirming and writhing on every surface. They’d swarm you, creeping up your legs, covering you entirely until there just wasn't anywhere left to go but _inside_.

You’d choke on it, lungs filling to the point of bursting, the bugs wiggling their way through into your bloodstream. You could still breath, yet you were suffocating, and any time you tried to push them out all that would escape was a scream. Maddened and desperate screaming. You were being eaten from the inside out, frantically scratching at your arms and throat as they crawled through your veins, nesting inside your heart where they’d lay their putrid eggs. 

This city was made of despair, filled with the infection called fear, and the wave of invisible insects that carried the disease was inescapable. 

Where people couldn't escape, and were never free from this plague, they also craved it. They hungered and fed off of the disgustingly wonderful anguish around them, passing it from one person to the next with their bullets, and with the various fluids being swapped during sex between enemies. 

As they cowered from ghouls who rarely showed their face despite being around every street corner, they’d lay waste to their own kind, each one trying to rise above all the others. Self preservation was key, and if you lived, that was the only thing that mattered. No ones sadness or pain could trump your own, and so despite there being a sea of people, each one stood _alone_.

There was no trust, no love, not when you got down to their very core.

People were the real monsters here, and Hideyoshi Nagachika knew that well enough.

He smiled for the sake of smiling, to try and bring even a glimmer of happiness to anyone who would let it in, even though he knew his efforts were fruitless. Hide didn't know when he stopped being disappointed, but at some point the pain ceased, and every wary look and tentative smile left nothing but a dull tingle at best. 

He lived his life like any young adult, attending college, sleeping and eating. It all felt so empty to him, like he was missing something, like there was more to his achingly “ordinary” life; or at least what was perceived as ordinary by so many.

Hide often found himself going out, looking for something that would fill that void, searching for someone that would just sit down and _talk_ to him. For once he wanted to be trusted, looked at like he wasn't a threat, and he knew the only person who’d done that besides his mother was dead.

He was a nice kid from next door, always alone in the courtyard when he got home from school, not really big on the whole shoes and socks thing. Hide would catch him petting the neighbourhood cats, picking flowers that he later found out were for his mom, all the while smiling to himself like there wasn't a care in the world. He wanted to stand there and watch him have fun for hours, or maybe join him if it was possible, and he thought that maybe they could be friends. 

Countless times, he’d say hello, only to have the the dark haired boy run away from him. He was shy, and he was sweet, and he was perfect. Hide was eight, so he wasn't about to say that he was in love, but he would've been lying if he said he didn't like the kid.

He tried again and again, trying to connect to him, until finally the other just stopped showing up. It was upsetting to think that trying to be friendly would scare someone off. Hide felt horrible.

Eventually he too stopped looking to the courtyard, gave up on searching for that round smiling face, instead he went straight to his door upon coming home.

That is until one day a soft spoken plea sounded behind him.

He didn't quite believe his ears, or his eyes in that matter, because just behind him stood the barefooted kid. He had his arms tucked behind him shyly, wide black eyes looking to the ground as his voice came out in a nervous stutter, and Hide would never forget that slightly trembling voice.

“There’s a bird...it fell out of the tree”

He was so soft spoken, each word sounding just about as gentle as a feather's touch.

Neither of them were very tall, but Hide managed to hoist the raven up on his shoulders, the both of them grinning ear to ear as the shorter of the two finally managed to crawl between the fork in the tree. He was laughing, voice a bit muffled from the shirt in his mouth, using the dark blue fabric as a small cradle to carry the baby bird up to its nest.

After that, they seemed to become the best of friends, connected at the hip. They were inseparable from the moment Hide came home to when he absolutely had to come in for dinner. On the off chance his mom was home late, Hide wouldn't even go in, he’d just sit around and goof off until the wee hours of the night. Of course he’d be grounded the next day, but his mother was so caught up with work that somehow he managed to get out of his punishment.

His best friend…

He meant everything to him.

Even when…

Even when Hide looked up from the finger he’d cut on the slide to find two darkened eyes staring down at him.

Despite the frightening appearance he could see the concern, relief, then fear.

The same fear he saw in so many faces everyday.

And all he could say was “Cool”.

It wasn't particularly that deep of a comment, or even comforting really, but for his friend it was enough. It was their secret. Only Hide knew that he and his mom were something that normally one should fear, especially if you were human.

After that they really were joined. There wasn't a moment that you wouldn't see the two together, touching, holding each other in some way. Hide would always eat all the snacks his mom would bring them, and he covered up all the dinner invitations for their family, he really tried his best. He really did...

His mom just wouldn't leave it alone…

What was he suppose to do when she went over herself and asked? Hide couldn't butt in and say his friend was busy, or their mother was at work...He couldn't do a damn thing.

He was weak.

A small pathetic child biting his nails as he stared out the window and watched as his abrasive mother tried to weasel her way into their lives.

Why did she have to ruin it.

Of course they declined, how could they come and eat dinner with humans, especially with their _diet_. Hide couldn't blame his mom for not knowing, but like children always were, he was rash and couldn't help the angry string of curse words that slipped past his lips.

He started to see less and less of his friend after that, and all because of his loving, idiotic mother.

She was just trying to be friendly…

She just wanted to be included...

And it was with those wishes that she single-handedly destroyed his happiness.

The memory was so vividly engrained in his mind that he still had nightmares well into his late teens. 

A cool summer night, the courtyard bathed in oranges and grapefruit red, Hides pained yelp echoing through the complex. He was playing on the small jungle gym when his hand slipped, the blond cracking his head on the edge of the raised wooden platform, his little legs having been just barely out of reach; which of course caused him to miss said platform and smack his face. He should have known better, Hide knew the monkey bars were too big for him, but what was a kid to do when they were bored. He had no one to play with.

He was almost immediately comforted by small yet strong arms, looking up with bleary eyes to stare up at that familiar ghoulish gaze, smiling as blood gushed out his nose and down the front of his shirt. He was happy that someone came to his rescue, and he was even more pleased that it was the one person he was longing to see.  
Their reunion was cut short, his mother's panicked voice reaching his ears, both children freezing. Hide didn’t even have time to tell the other to leave before the woman's arms were around him, hoisting him up to stand, trying to get a better look at the damage he’d done to himself. Hide raised his hands, trying to swat her away, moving to stand in front of the smaller boy as she hit him with a barrage of questions. 

A few neighbours looked out at them from their windows, watching with concern as the blood just kept coming, and his mother just became more hysterical.

With a shaking hand Hide reached back, fingers groping blindly, the blond trying his best to hold back tears as a small hand placed itself in his own. He squeezed it, fingers soaked with crimson clutching his friends, anguish consuming him for the first time in his life.

Finally, after living in this city for eight miserable years he had his first taste of those bugs, inhaling deeply as they burrowed down into the pit of his stomach. 

Everything moved in slow motion, the colour draining from his face as he was pushed out of the way, his mom only wanting to see if the raven was hurt too. He watched in horror as his mothers hands hovered, not daring to touch the ghoul, her eyes widening to the point where Hide thought they may fall out of her head. She was seething, the anger on her face making the blond feel sick, and it was that moment where Hide realised it was all over.

This was all because he came to help...bounding of his house no doubt to come to Hides side…

Where the blond launched himself at his mother, clinging to her arm as he begged her not to do anything, the other simply smiled.

He grinned stupidly as he waved, saying goodbye for one last time, his own tears filling those blackened eyes.

Hide was dragged back into the house, screaming as he pounded on the window, watching helplessly as they tied him up; several people from the complex already on their phones. His mother tried to hold him, console him as he pleaded from behind the glass for the boy to run, use what ever powers ghouls had to escape. He hit and scratched at her, giving the woman good few smacks that would no doubt bruise, using all the power he could muster to fight her off. 

After about twenty minutes of crying and yelling, three suited men stood in the courtyard, Hide lifting his head from the back of the couch to blink with red puffy eyes; staring in horror as the suitcases in their hands became something only a monster would wield. A monster...If his friend was such a monster then why didn't he use his own…

Why didn’t he fight back.

_“I like humans you know”_

He recalled those gentle words, and that kind laugh, a broken sob ripping from his throat as his bright little butterfly was reduced to nothing but a pulsing mess of organs littering the gravel.

They all watched, some of them with glee in their eyes, that fear being satiated for now with a ghouls death. 

People were sent back into their homes, some of them pointing towards his house, a sickening feeling swelling inside him as another anguished cry threatened to bubble up his throat.  
He slowly let himself down from the couch, not even sparing his mother a glance as he wordlessly moved to his room, the woman covering her mouth as she leaned against the front door.

He could hear the click of the lock, his moms half choked words as she tried to speak, the men telling her to calm down now; that her son was safe. They were going to stick around to catch the mother-ghoul, and that’s when he heard the usually strong woman break down.

She realised what she’d done.

They never hurt anybody.

They were nice…

They were kind…

“I hate people” He remembers telling himself, searching for the land-line that he left somewhere in his room, wanting to request that he live with his father across town.

 

✖✖✖

 

Hide never really got over it, but he kept living, spending every day breathing for a boy whose name was washed away by time and the repression of nightmares. Even when He tried to remember, he couldn't, the first letter getting stuck on his tongue; Any sound after that was something that didn't even resemble a name.

He moved in with his dad, going back to school two weeks too soon after his almost immediate move, his mother phoning every day to see how he was doing. She loved him so much, and Hide loved her in return, but loving someone and forgiving them were two completely different things. 

His dad loved him too, he was sure, but the man started looking at him funny. After finding out just how long Hide had known about his friend he sent him sideways glances, like he himself was going to turn red eyed and develop a taste for his fingers at any second. He figured it wouldn't matter if he told him, casually bringing it up at dinner one night before being asked to go to his room, his dad tired and done with all this ghoul talk. He set him straight, telling him it just wasn't normal how he hung out with that “thing’ for so long, blatantly disregarding his own and others safety.

It created a rift in their ragtag, buddy cop relationship, the only thing passed between them now being awkward glances and abrupt requests. 

It was better than living with a woman who couldn't stop crying, looking at Hide like just his presence made her feel physical pain. The one thing he loved about his mom though, was that the warmth never died away; trust remaining in those sad eyes of hers.

Over time they rebuilt their relationship, and now that he was in college he’d invite her out for coffee, or vis-versa if she was feeling especially lonely that week. He was her everything, he got that now, and where it wasn’t his place to forgive her, Hide tried his best to move on.  
They gossiped about the latest celebrities, trash talked the people at her work, and occasionally the blond would be questioned about getting a girlfriend any time soon. He’d laugh and shrug her off, blushing as he furiously shut down her implications at Hide perhaps wanting a boyfriend instead.

Even if that was the case, she always insisted she loved him.

She told him every time they parted ways.

He was happy.

He was thriving in this little fucked up world.

That was until his oh-so-considerate mother brought him to a coffee shop she insisted he’d like, practically dragging him along behind her, the blond complaining that he only had so long before he had to be back on campus for his next class. 

She ignored him of course, as she always did, smiling at him with a bright smile that was identical to his own. It was contagious, that refreshing cheery face in an ocean of frowns, her bright slate eyes glinting as she went on about how she always went there with her co-workers. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he’d like it, but what he was expecting to be shown was some delicious food and a good cup of coffee, not a tall broody-looking waiter with a crooked smile.

“This is my son! I’ve been telling you about him lately!” She laughed, carefree as she pulled Hide closer, the blond feeling as if he were being fed to a spider. _There it was_. That _look_. Or at least as close as he'd ever gotten. Those eyes weren’t filled with suspicion or caution, they were strong, almost dangerous. They weren't trusting, but it was better than nothing!

“This is him?” His voice was smooth, and his gaze was calculating, looking him up and down in brief appraisal before cracking another smile “Nice to meet you”.

“Hide say hello” His mother whispered to him, the blond reaching out to take the strong hand offered to him, wincing as those fingers crushed his own. He couldn’t help but get the feeling that his mother wormed her way into yet another poor person's life.

“Hi there!...please take care of us today!” He tried to stay cheerful, quickly pulling his hand back as his knuckles cracked “Strong grip you got there”

“Sorry” It was a hiss, his tone low despite his seemingly cheery expression. 

“I’ll grab us a seat!” His mother patted his arm, Hide longingly looking after her, wishing she would have taken him with her.

“Sorry about my mom…” he told the raven with a nervous laugh “I'm Hide by the way”

“It’s all-right” -total lie, Hide could tell immediately “And I know. I've heard all about you, really, I could write a book” Sarcasm, nice.

He wasn't sure why his mother decided to introduce him to this guy, but he couldn't say he was sorry she did; Because the next few weeks turned out to be amazing despite his initial impression. Kaneki, he learned to be his name, was a great conversationalist. He’d let Hide ramble on and on, actually contributing to his stupid little theories about ghouls and the night life of the city, sometimes even cutting in himself to give his own….morbid view of the situation. He wasn't the most pleasant guy, but Hide could spend hours with him regardless, just walking…sometimes without even speaking. 

It was at a diner that he understood why he felt so comfortable around Kaneki, the realisation almost painful, the blond watching those dark eyes stare hatefully down at the serving of fries Hide ordered for him. One was already in his mouth, face twisting and contorting into something he’d only ever seen once, a face made when a ghoul put an animal cracker in their mouth.

“Don’t eat it” Hide almost demanded, Kaneki looking up in surprise as the blond hurriedly handed him a napkin, face filled with concern “Spit it out if you're sick…”

Kaneki gladly did so, watching him as he let the clump of fried potato fall completely un-chewed into the napkin, brows furrowed as he muttered a soft thanks.

The pain in his heart that night was too familiar, and he found himself cursing his idiot mother once again. 

 

✖✖✖ 

 

Now here he was laying flat on his back, staring up the shadowy ceiling, aching all over with a pain he never really felt before in his life. 

This wasn’t like getting beaten up at school, or falling off your bike. This was so much worse, because even after getting tossed around by a bully or eating pavement, you still got back up. You stood on your own two feet and you continued pushing on, fighting back, getting your pound of flesh. This...Hide felt empty, like there just wasn't anything left inside to give.

 

✖✖✖

 

_The conversation had started off innocently enough, Hide talking about his professor punishing some poor student that day for being late, and what he ate for lunch. Kaneki never had much to say when he talked about that stuff, so he always stayed silent, staring ahead with a lost look on his face._

_It was like word vomit, Hide unable to stop himself as he asked “What’s it like?”_

_Kaneki looked to him with tired eyes, a fine brow raised in silent question._

_At this point Hide could have aborted his inquiry, but his lips kept moving, and his heart sank further in his chest as the ravens pupils narrowed._

_“What’s it like pretending to be human?”_

_Kaneki was silent, Hide sighing as he looked down to his nervously twiddling thumbs, heels knocking together “I’ve known for a while” He could practically feel the anger coming off Kaneki in waves, the blond smiling up at the raven now to meet a disbelieving glare “-And I thought since you always go along with whatever I want...what do you like to do?”_

_Hide never thought he’d regret asking something as much as he did then, because with a seething whisper of “ **What do I like to do?** ”, and a savage tug on his arm; he was whisked away with the promise of horror in his near future._

 

✖✖✖

 

A mask moved in to view, blurry eyes blinking in order to focus on the obscure choice of apparel, the blond now aware that at some point during his reflection the ghoul that consumed his thoughts had moved to crouch by his head. The mattress dipped as Kaneki placed a hand beside Hides shoulder, leaning over to draw even closer to the humans face, the sound of his shallow breath hitting the back of the mask making him shiver.

“I’m...not dead…” He croaked, Kaneki staying put, silent for a few moments before replying.

“ _You’re not_ ”.

 

✖✖✖

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also sorry for no sex lol! -there will be looots of it next chapter. I'm currently writing it !!
> 
> (NOTICE: I changed a few things in the first chapter a this was originally a one shot. It was just minor things like hide not knowing Kaneki was a ghoul and shiznit)


	3. The Crumbs That Remain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide wakes up alone in the apartment, aching and tired, contemplating this perfect opportunity to run. Obviously the blond makes the smart decision to stick around and wait for Kaneki to come back, though he may end up regretting that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to Hide's mentality in the this fiction, there are morally questionable themes. As the author I have done my best to portray these scenes in a negative light, whilst staying true to Hide's mentality.
> 
> I've discovered this fics song (Meg Myers - Desire): https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=231&v=bR5u9jb0PJE
> 
> I suggest listening to it when things get a bit M rated.

It was a gentle caress, curious fingers ghosting over his neck, tracing the powder blue veins hidden beneath translucent pale skin. Hide swallowed, adams-apple bobbing under a calloused thumb, Kaneki wanting nothing more than to lean forward and drag his tongue over the protrusion. To taste the physical embodiment of his nervousness and fear, feel him try and clear the lump in his throat as he tried to speak, listen to the hitch in his voice just as the ravens teeth barely dragged over his flesh. There was this primal and instinctual need to bite him, suck hard until blood broke the surface, creating another pretty red mark to match the rest made hours prior. 

A deep bite was already inflicted on Hides shoulder, the raw wound still open and bleeding, hidden beneath a pad of gauze, the side of Kanekis hand just grazing the edge of the duct tape he used to attach it to the human. Its silvery colour made Hide look even more pasty than he really was, sickly almost, but to be fair he was laying there completely wrecked in every definition of the sense. 

“I thought you said...you’d kill me” they stared at eachother, Hides voice withdrawn and tired, Kaneki fingering the rapid pulse that betrayed the promise of his earlier statement. They didn’t meet eye to eye of course, Hide left to stare up at an unchanging mask, uselessly searching over every crevice, yearning for that mouth to split open and reveal dark brooding eyes.

“It’s not next week yet” Kaneki let his hand travel down, nails lightly dragging over the others collarbone, the Ghoul using Hides chest to balance himself; leaning just a bit closer “Or do you _want_ to die now?” His mask was inches away, Hide wondering how the other even saw out of that thing. 

To ask if he wanted to die now wasn’t a particularly fair question, and Hide was sure that just about anyone would answer that they didn’t want to die at all. If the question was all about an expiry date...then If the raven could make him feel like he was melting from the inside out just a little longer, god, at least he would die happy.

He’d just try his best not to think about the whole being devoured part, and Kaneki, was after all, fulfilling his request here. 

The blonde licked his bottom lip, crusted blood flaking off on his tongue and chin, the taste and texture not a particularly pleasant feeling inside his mouth. His eyelids were heavy, as were his limbs, that empty ache set on a low vibrate throughout his entire system. Hide opened his mouth, attempting to speak again, wanting to ask just why he was still alive. Why wasn’t he split open, organs pulled out and put on display like some grotesque buffet? Why wasn’t Kanekis’ arm shoved half way up his rib cage, lodged between his lungs and his stomach, fingers groping around for his once beating heart. 

Kaneki leaned back, his figure becoming nothing more than fuzz, darkness creeping in. The shadows of the room no longer danced, but stood still and grew, consuming everything before him. Once again sleep overcame him, and Hide had no strength to fight.

 

✖✖✖

 

When Hide woke again he was alone, though he didn’t discover that until he actually mustered up the courage to look around, having spent the last few minutes just staring at the ceiling. The blond squinted as he strained to see, eyes drifting over the furniture, lingering on a few jars lined neatly over the ghouls dresser. Hide considered himself to be fairly strong stomached, but in this situation he felt sick, catching the hollow gaze of what he assumed to be a pickled head. He could feel a flutter in his gut, quickly turning his head away, the bugs inside him multiplying by the thousands. They festered and swarmed, coming up his throat in the form of a sickened groan, arms shaking as he moved to cover his face with his hands. 

“Oww-shit” He hissed, having forgotten for a split second just how sore he was, muscles screaming for him to stay still. He could at least feel his limbs now, though Hide almost wished he couldn’t, his arms shaking as they pushed him up to sit. It was fucking painful, no matter how slow he went, his back being the worst. Kaneki had been so brutal, fucking him without holding back, even if it had felt amazing at the time. Thinking back on it Hide couldn’t even say he minded the painful parts, not that there were many besides the bites all over his neck and torso. 

Kaneki had been rough in dragging him to his apartment, practically throwing him on his bed, Hide not even having a second to look around and notice what kind of horrors surrounded him before an eager and demanding mouth as crushed against his own.  
The blond remembered the look on the waiter's face; angry, desperate, and afraid. Even with those terrifying eyes Hide welcomed more kisses, Kaneki for some reason getting even more aggressive and frustrated as he accepted him, ripping his hands out of black spikes to slam them against the mattress. 

That was when Hide got a real look at the ghouls room, left to stare as Kanekis lips descended down his neck, vision blurring from the sudden oncoming of tears. He remembered the breathy laughter against his neck, shivering from dark and humorless eyes that were now hungrily staring up at him.

“ _That’s the look I want_ ” It was bitter, dripping from his tongue like poison, Kanekis expression turning predatory.

His shirt was torn to shreds, and it wasn’t that he particularly recalled the feeling of the fabric straining against his skin, because there was evidence; strewn left and right, the remains of what used to be one of his favourite shirts lay scattered over the sheets. The bigger pieces were missing, so Hide could only assume the ghoul cleaned up a bit, the theory being backed up by his neatly folded jeans sitting over on a chair in the small kitchenette area.

 _Those_ Kaneki had just tugged right off, along with his boxers, which he noticed the ghoul had put back on him at some point. 

Hide pushed himself forward, wincing as he scooted to the end of the bed, toes curling as they touched the cool wood of the floor. He could feel his bones creak as he stood, legs twitching, shaking as he took a few wavering steps. He tried to steady himself, stopping for a few seconds to try get some grounding, a trembling hand grabbing at a nearby shelf. 

_Kaneki wasn’t exactly slow in getting things started, and before Hide could say anything he was surrounded in heat, an incredible pressure building fast in his groin. Of course he’d been soft at first, but the ghoul fixed that, vigorously sucking him back into his throat and swallowing around him. Hide didn’t even know how to process all of that at once, propping himself up on his elbows, watching with his mouth hanging open in half shock, half pleasure. It was like he was being consumed, and the fear of being bitten chimed in the back of his mind, but that heavenly feeling was overwhelming any coherent or sane thought._

_Hide didn’t even recognise the pathetic whimper that had escaped him, stomach twisting in mortification as he was swiftly brought to orgasm, eyes widening as Kaneki only seemed to suck harder; if that were even possible._

“God” Hide pressed a hand to his hip, wincing at the thought of where Kanekis fingers found themselves after that whole dick sucking session, unsure if that’s where things started going downhill or uphill. The line was pretty thin there, and their sexual activities walked along it like a person who’d never ingested a single drop of alcohol their whole life. 

He took the last few steps required to bring him to the small bathroom, quickly flipping on the light before taking inventory of what he had to work with. A small bathtub, complete with an extendible shower head, and it seemed to have been recently cleaned; he could even smell the lingering scent of bleach. Against the wall was your regular, run of the mill toilet and sink, though they seemed a little dingier than the bath. Hide could only hope it was because the ghoul bathed often, and not because it was used as some trough for his “meals”, though Hide would have to admit hacking someone up in there would be convenient and contained.

"Gross” he frowned, disgusted by his own musings, stumbling into the wash-room with heavy feet. His sights were set on the tub, wincing as he came to sit on the porcelain edge, hands hurriedly trying to turn on the water. He was not looking forward to cleaning what he could only assume to be day-old cum out of his ass...

He made sure the water was hot, to the point where it would probably burn, but he was willing to make that sacrifice if it meant he’d be clean after this whole ordeal. Come to think of it he didn’t feel all too gross, and he wasn’t covered in semen as far as he could tell, in fact as he gave himself a once over Hide was starting to wonder if Kaneki had given him a little more than just a wipe down while he was sleeping. 

After slipping off his boxers Hide carefully lifted each leg into the tub, fitting the plug into the drain with his big toe, slowly lowering himself down into the steaming pool already forming. 

“Ah-” the blond bit his lip, a few bite marks on his ass stinging from the heat of the water. 

_After at least another minute of sucking, the ghoul had finally detached himself from Hides dick, unashamedly raking his teeth down his balls, finally coming to tongue at his ass hole. Hide remembered practically choking on his own spit, hands flying down to grab at Kanekis hair now that they were free, the raven using his own fingers to spread and kneed his butt. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, but he didn’t particularly like it._

_Kaneki let go of his reddening globes to take hold of his wrists in a vice grip, growling a demand that he let go of him. Hide of course released those surprisingly soft locks, swallowing a cry as his arms were bend to the sides in an unnatural way. Almost immediately Kaneki moved to bite his ass, and Hide could remember yelping out a surprised “Hey!”, though that only seemed to make those teeth dig in deeper._

“Fuck that hurts” Hide leaned back in the bath, water sloshing around him as he used his foot to reach up and push the facet handle back into place, ceasing the flow of searing hot liquid. After biting him that first time it seemed Kaneki couldn’t get enough. Looking between his legs he could see the few teeth marks that were there, along with a few obvious fingerprints. Christ, ghoul strength was really something to be feared, and Hide was certain that he hadn’t even seen anything close to what Kaneki could do yet.

“Yet…” he mused, sliding his hand up his stomach, remembering how Kanekis mouth had spread many messy kisses along his cum covered skin, coming to finally suck and lick and bi- ”-Ah” Hides fingers flinched, brushing up against the discoloured gauze on his shoulder, tilting his head to try and get a look at it.

Kaneki definitely had done more than take a cloth to him.

What kind of ghoul dressed the wounds of their next meal? 

Gingerly he peeled the duct tape back, pursing his lips and gritting his teeth, the gauze sticking to the gouges made by Kaneki. They didn’t look infected so that was good, but his skin was a bit clammy, and discoloured around the crescent shaped wounds. If you looked hard enough you could see each individual tooth mark, though it was hard to see past the bruising and clotted blood, and Hide found himself having to actually look away before he started feeling sick. It wasn’t as bad as the horror scene out in the bachelor pad, but because it was _his_ body, of course it would be different. 

With a little effort he managed to get his hands to stop shaking for just a few moments, cupping them together just under the waters surface to bring them up and splash the hot liquid over his abused shoulder. It stung, but it also relieved a bit of tension, so he did it again. After a few times Hide took another look, blinking to find that it wasn’t actually as deep as he initially thought, just the blood that had congealed made it seem like Kaneki had made canyons there.

Hide spent a fair amount of time just relaxing, letting the water sooth him, tend to his aching body. It surrounded him in a warm embrace, welcoming him, and for a few moments he thought that maybe it would be okay if he drowned here. 

He wouldn’t mind, especially when he thought about finally doing the deed, and cleaning out his ass.

Swallowing thickly he moved his arm, tucking his hand between his legs, fingers hovering just before his entrance. Christ, he was actually doing this, and he didn’t even want to consider how raw he’d be down there.

With a delicate touch, he pressed his middle finger against the puckered hole, biting his lip nervously as he hesitantly applied a bit more pressure. He watched with a deep frown as the water by his hand became a bit foggy, digging his finger in deeper only to find that even more semen polluted his bath. There wasn’t as much as he expected, even when he pulled that digit out, and he was surprised to find that his insides didn’t hurt so much as his back ached from the strain he’d been put under. He had expected blood to come spilling out, but maybe that was just Hide being dramatic.

With two fingers now, he wiggled them inside, staring at the ceiling with a grimace. He didn’t want to admit it, but Kaneki had done this much better than was managing right now, though he guessed the intentions were also different before. The ghoul meant to pleasure, at least he hoped that was the motivation, where right now hide was merely trying to rid himself of-

“-Fuck!” he ripped his fingers out, finding it to be a bit more tender than he originally thought. He could see filmy white liquid cloud and float away from him, sticking his tongue out as he gagged, pushing himself up out of the water a little faster than he should have. 

Hide caught himself on the toilet, his legs still aching, but a bit more functional now as they’d stopped quivering. There wasn’t any towels, at least none that he could see, so he figured dripping dry wouldn’t be so bad. It was stuffy in this place anyway, it’s not like he was about to get a chill from a sudden breeze or anything.

Fuck his ass did really hurt though, he shouldn’t have stuck his fingers that far in.

He didn’t even feel clean yet, but whatever.

He shook his feet off, careful not to slip on the floor, Kaneki missing a fuzzy bathroom mat to soak up any moisture that was pooling around his feet. Kind of convenient for cleaning up big messes. Especially if that mess was blood from, say, a hacked up corpse. 

“I gotta stop thinking about that” He shook his head, reaching to flick the light to the bathroom off, blinking at the darkened apartment as he exited. He'd forgotten there were no fucking lights on. 

Completely in the nude, _and_ blind, Hide groped over the walls. Eventually he found a light switch by the kitchenette, a small light over head blinking before humming to life. Finally now that he could see, he confidently walked to the dresser, trying not to look at the few jars filled with all sort of body parts. 

Maybe it would have been better to leave the lights off.

Upon opening the top drawer Hide found exactly what you’d expect; from a normal person that is. Piles of underwear and socks were put in rows, boxers and a few briefs off to the left, and socks were on the right. The blond was fairly surprised to find that everything was neat and tidy, and thinking on it further, Kaneki did seem like a fairly organised person. Even his little wall of...yeesh...yeah there seemed to be some chaotic order to that too.

Without taking another glance he grabbed a pair of boxers, figuring that things couldn’t get any worse than they were now, and if the ghoul was going to get mad at him for raiding his panty drawer, well that was just something he would have to deal with when the time came. 

His bones still protested against moving too fast, but Hide paid little mind to the dull throbbing of his spine as he yanked the black cotton boxers up to fit loosely around his hips, shifting from one leg to the next as he tried to figure out if these things were going to fall down. Of course they were fine for now, thank god for elastic waistbands, but everything else was just a smidgen too big. 

After that he was at a loss for what to do, looking down at his marked up stomach before letting his eyes drift over to stare at the door. Without looking away he turned, backing up until the backs of his knees hit the mattress, Hide sitting with a wince. Kaneki wouldn't have left him here by himself if he thought he was going to leave, or maybe it was that the ghoul thought he couldn't leave, because he _was_ pretty sore.

Even then…

Hide narrowed his eyes, honey brown darkening as he stared down at his hands clasped in his lap, thinking about what would happen if he left.

He’d be hunted down, cornered in some ally or unpopulated street, gathered up in strong arms and taken away to face his doom; A fate that most likely entailed a gruesome and painful death. He’d be eaten alive most likely, or maybe he’d be hung up in that bathtub to bleed out like so many before him probably went through. 

It hurt to think about, the fact that Kaneki could so easily pick him apart like this.

Kaneki knew he was smart enough to think about what might happen to him if he tried to leave, and he was probably relying in that to keep him here, the sad thing being, it was working.

Sure Hide could run to the cops as soon as he made it out of the apartment building, but even after all the other did to him, he honestly didn’t want to turn him in. Even as he glanced at what used to be people hung up on the wall and stuffed in to jars, he didn’t want Kaneki to be found out, he still wanted him to…

To what?

That was was the question.

Why did he want Kaneki alive? They became fast friends, even if it was one sided on Hides end. They could talk for hours, or just sit in silence, and Kaneki wasn't the kindest person towards him, but he _seemed_ to care. He listened to what hide had to say, kept him company when no one else would, and he never shied away from some of the blonds darker or more obscure theories and revelations. He made him feel complete in a strange sort of way.

But all of that...that didn't make any of what happened okay...

He was just trying to find something to grasp at, to make this very fucked up situation viable, to try and find something redeeming about being fucked senseless in the nest of a flesh eating ghoul. Hide took in to consideration that he _did_ say that he wanted to do it again, and a large part of him meant it, only he wanted it to be...different. 

He was just really...messed up wasn’t he?.

“Is this what they call stockholm syndrome?” He wondered, laying back on the bed, throwing an arm over his eyes. He still wanted to talk to Kaneki, laugh with him, spend time with him. His heart was doing flips, and his stomach felt like it was going to claw its way up his throat, and he _knew_ what happened was wrong...all of this was just _wrong_ , but he couldn’t help but want more.

He was sick.

He wanted Kaneki to just fill that gaping hole inside him that had been left open for so long, even if it felt like rubbing salt in a wound.

 

✖✖✖

 

Hide didn’t know how long he’d been waiting, laying there counting the seconds, minutes, hours as they passed, eventually beginning to doze off. The hazy promise of sleep was just beyond his grasp, body lulling itself into a numb state, caught in that weird lingo where colours and shapes would flash behind your eyelids but you weren’t quite dreaming. It wasn’t like he needed sleep, but at some point people just ran out of things to think about, and Hide was at a point where he thought his brain might actually fry from over exertion.

If it was any indication to how long he'd been laying there; his hair was dry...

He was starting to wonder whether or not Kaneki was actually coming back, that is until he heard the soft click of the lock, his body jolting upright on it’s own. Probably not the best plan of action, what with how sore he was, but Hide ignored the throbbing in his spine. He could feel a bead of sweat roll down his back, watching with narrowed eyes as the door opened, Kaneki walking in with a down-set gaze. 

Slowly he looked up, seemingly unphased by the blond, locking eyes with Hide as he gently used his foot to close the door behind him. The ghoul almost seemed to be contemplating something, staying in place before slowly reaching up to unzip his hoodie, dropping it on top of the bag; contents crunching under the weight of the thick fabric. 

 

“I’ve really wanted to eat your mother for the longest time” Kaneki spoke, tie slipping from around his neck as he pulled at it, the ghoul obviously having just come back from work “She came to see me today, asked me if i’ve seen you around. That bitch just doesn’t _shut up_ …” 

Hide was frozen in place, swallowing thickly as the ghoul shrugged off his shirt, keeping constant eye contact while reaching over to remove his mask from the wall. Kaneki walked forward, carefully, almost hesitantly as the distance between them closed.

“What do you think I should do? I could string her intestines up on the walls...it would really brighten up the place…” Hide had to look up now, Kaneki coming to stand in front of him, knees just lightly grazing his own. The blond swallowed, air caught in his lungs, not daring to look away as his heart pounded in his chest. Not his mom. Kaneki could do anything to him, but not her- “No, you’re right…” his lips parted as Kaneki lifted the mask to his face, messing up black locks as he pulled the straps back over his head, the ghouls words now a tad muffled “Too messy…”

Hide felt sick, his mind already coming up with wild visions of just how Kaneki would have cut her up in to pieces, and hung her up in his tub. Maybe he’d set up a bucket underneath her, collect the blood that emptied from her veins, and keep it for a nice beverage later. Like the limbs already hanging up, she’d start to rot, filling the room with her warm rancid stench, and sitting in a jar would be her head, watching as Kaneki devoured his body and soul…

And how Hide would let him…

Even though Kaneki took back his remark, the images remained ingrained in his thoughts.

“Your mouth is hanging open like it’s begging to be fucked” Hide blinked, finding that his eyes were damp, gasping as two hands ran back through his hair. Hide was frozen in place, eyes shuddering as the ghouls nails raked over his scalp, calloused thumbs running down over his temples as he was _almost_ gently pulled forward. The blond finally tore his eyes away from the mask, brows furrowing as his face was forced to press against a well toned stomach, blinking slowly as he found himself admiring the ripple of those muscles beneath taught skin.

Maybe forced wasn’t the right term, because he wasn’t exactly fighting this, in fact he was kind of ashamed to admit that a dull throb made itself known in his pants. His nose was pressed in to the crease of Kanekis abs, lips just above his belly button, glancing up at the hidden face.

The possibility of talking to Kaneki had already left its shoes by the river and drowned itself when the other suggested hanging his mothers entrails up to dry. The hope that there was something more between them, a reason that his wounds were dressed, and body washed, slowly dwindling in to non existence.

There was nothing for Hide to latch on to, yet he still kept reaching, searching for something that wasn’t there.

“Kane-”

“Who said you could talk?”

Hide hissed, clenching his teeth, hands flying up to grab at the others pants as his hair was fisted rather painfully. The heartache was almost unbearable, foul little eggs hatching, birthing more sickness. He was afraid, alone and at the mercy of a ghoul, a beast whos fingers trembled despite their calm demeanour...

A small detail that did not go overlooked by the blond.

His tongue slipped out, squishing against Kanekis pale skin, licking away the faint taste of salt. Slowly he sealed his lips over the others flesh, sucking gently, nails dragging up to the hem of the ghouls pants. This was the first time he’d ever done anything like this, so understandably he was a bit hesitant in his actions, tentative as he moved his head to poke at Kanekis bellybutton. His tongue slithered in once, twice...three times. He imagined how Kaneki had done it to him, slowly and confidently thrusting his own wet muscle in and out of him, only where Hide was doing it was a bit less...obscene. 

The gears in his head were in overdrive, face heating in what he could only assume to be a blinding red flush, hands already moving to the front of Kanekis black dress pants to make quick work of the clasp there. He could hear a breathy sigh above him, Hide no longer staring up at the ghoul, but the faint trail of hair leading down to a tight pair of black boxer briefs; fingers already sneaking underneath the hem to pull them down.

He pressed his forehead against the the waiter, staring down at the semi-hard cock, pupils narrowed as he watched the organ jump slightly from his hot breath.

His body shifted so that his legs were now on either side of Kanekis, hands planting themselves on muscled thighs, pulling the ghoul a little closer. Kaneki went along with every motion, letting Hide lead him shyly, shoulders shaking with a silent laugh. 

They stayed still for a moment, Hide trying to muster up his courage as the ravens snickering died in his chest, pulling at the humans head impatiently now. 

Hide looked up once more, this time keeping his eyes locked on the the mask, glaring with narrowed eyes as his hands slid up to grab at the ghouls waist. Reluctantly he stuck out his tongue, swiping it over the pearly head, lapping up the smallest bit of moisture beading at the tip. The taste was bitter and salty, all around not a good flavour, but in the next moment Hide found himself latching on and sucking hungrily. He roved his tongue over the others slit, his technique messy and inexperienced, the blond doing his best to suck back anything and everything that came out. He felt dirty, and he felt used, but the feeling was so...sinfully right.

A small moan vibrated in his chest, brows knitting together as the growing length throbbed against his tongue, the ghouls dick sliding along the roof of his mouth as Kaneki shallowly thrust forward. Hides thumbs massaged circles into the waiters creamy skin, suckling faster now, sinking further down before pulling back again to just the head. 

“Ha-” Kaneki ran his hands further back through Hides hair, tangling his fingers in the vibrant mess just at the nape of his neck, forcing Hide to take him deeper. 

His nails dug into Kanekis thighs, bobbing his head more frequently now, sucking at the tip of the others cock every time he came back. He wasn't taking in nearly as much as Kaneki would probably like, pulling away whenever the others member neared the back of his throat, which was more than likely the cause for the rough tugging. Hide groaned, gaze wavering, tongue digging into the slit as compensation. He was trying his best to coax the weeping cock in his mouth to spill it's load, though if Hide learned anything from their last sexual encounter, it would be that Kaneki didn’t exactly come easily, nor very often. 

Even as Kaneki tried to usher the blond down on to his dick, Hide still pulled back, the ghoul letting out a pent up breath of frustration. He twisted his fingers in those long locks, getting a good grip, unseen eyes narrowing as he spoke “Hold your breath. _Don’t bite_ ”.

Hide was confused at first, then alarmed as he was suddenly pulled forward, his soft cry cut off by the intruding member pushing to the back of his mouth. Kanekis grip was unwavering, holding Hide down on his cock, not letting him pull away or adjust. Hot tears ran down the blonds cheeks as he felt the others member press passed his tonsils, the thick head beginning to actually slip down his throat, effectively cutting off his air supply. Kaneki held him there, Hide convulsing forward, spasming as an angry flush ran down his neck. His choking only seemed to turn Kaneki one even more, cock twitching in his esophagus, causing Hide to choke even more.

He was gagging on Kanekis dick, swallowing frantically as his stomach practically turned itself inside out, Hide constantly dry heaving. Even as he vomited, all that came up was thick spit and clear fluid, hardly any of it managing to make it passed the fat member in his throat. Kaneki visibly shuddered every time Hide swallowed, the blond trying to pull away, but failing due to the ghouls grip.

He could feel himself getting light-headed, neck aching as he lurched forward, the feeling of constantly being sick overwhelming him. His eyes were filled with shock and fear, panic rising in him as the need for air became apparent, His hand lightly slapping against Kaneki hip in a pleading gesture. He shut his eyes tight, tears streaming down his face as he suffocated, Hide gagging yet again. A whimper was all he could muster, Kaneki holding him there, the blonds nose buried in a small patch of dark hair.

Hide considered himself to be a pretty funny guy, a self proclaimed master of comedy if you would, but even _he_ couldn't laugh at the thought of dying from sucking too much dick.

Swallowing again Hide opened his eyes, looking up with an unfocused gaze, a strangled cry vibrating in his throat.

Just like that, he could breath, Kaneki harshly dragging his head back off his dick. 

“Gah!-” Hide let out a strangled gasp, gulping down air as fast as he could, trying his best to breath through a sudden coughing fit. His chest was heaving, mouth hanging open, a mix of drool and precum, and what ever else came up with his dry-heaving, leaking out the sides of his mouth. His arms were shaking, a dull throb running up his spine as he was guided around by his hair, Kaneki hunching over just slightly.

“-You’re still doing it” The blond wasn’t even given a minute to rest, groaning as he was pulled forward once more, Kanekis erection pushing inside his gaping mouth once again.

This time his entry was brief, plunging down into Hides throat for a split second before pulling back, then repeating the action again. There was no slow build up, no easing Hide into getting his throat fucked, Kaneki just immediately pounding his face without restraint. 

Hide struggled for air, holding on to Kaneki for dear life, lucky to get even a millisecond to try and bring fresh oxygen into his lungs. The blonds eyes were wide, body rocking from the force of each thrust, throat burning as it squeezed and pulled Kanekis cock deeper down his throat. He swallowed each time, trying to keep the bile down as long as possible, the others member slipping in so easily. Kaneki was coated in a frothy blend of precum and saliva, the mixture coating his chin, more adding to the globs running down his neck every time Kaneki pulled out.

He hunched and choked again and again, squinting as the harsh thrusting started to really hurt, Kaneki beginning to make little noises above him. 

Hide squirmed, reaching up behind Kanekis arms to grab his shoulders, the ghoul curled over the blond now as his movements became jerky and ragged. The human clawed at the other, staring up through his tears to focus on a bead of sweat rolling down the ghouls chest, his own groin stirring with a pleasant hum.

Without warning he was yanked back again, a broken yelp escaping him, Hide gasping for air and coughing hoarsely as he blinked away the haze of tears. 

Hide expected to have Kaneki ram right back in seconds later, but as the ghoul hovered over him, panting behind his mask, it became apparent he was done with all of that.

Kaneki straightened himself out, dragging Hide up with him, the blond hissing as his hair was practically ripped from his scalp. Kaneki let his left hand drop from his head, fingers running over the raw bite wound that Hide never re-bandaged, carrying on to slide a sweaty palm down his rib cage. 

“That...hurt” The blond rasped, Kaneki scoffing in response.

“And you were actually-” Hide winced, the ghoul yanking his head back to expose his neck, roughly grabbing at the blonds erection through the boxers he wore “-turned on?”

Hide didn’t answer, swallowing nervously, his shame being drowned by a moan as Kaneki hurriedly tore his only clothing away. The sound of fabric ripping sent a shiver up his spine, the hand in his hair finally releasing him, head tingling from the relief. He could feel that sweet air leave his lungs as an arm snaked around his waist, Kaneki pulling him flush against his body with such force he hand to actually remind himself to breath again. His lashes fluttered, brows knitting together as his lips made a small ‘o’, Hide staring down between them as his cock pressed against the ghouls. 

It was a sight to see, their dicks squishing and sliding against each other, crushed between them as the raven roughly rutted against him. Kanekis shoulders hunched, arms crushing Hide in their embrace, smothering his masked face in to the blonds pectorals; effectively blocking the sight of them mashed together. The plaster was cold against Hides flesh, the ghouls head bobbing with the hurried rise and fall of his chest, drool smearing over the inside and dripping down on to the flushed skin. 

Hide was panting, voice hoarse as he whispered the ghouls name under his breath, burying his face in the messy mop of black hair. He was lifted from the ground slightly, hands gripping the ghouls biceps, clenching his eyes shut as his orgasm sang behind locked bars. His feet were lifted completely from the hardwood, Hide relying on the stronger male to support him, trembling as pleasure washed over his body in waves. It was getting harder and harder to hold on, the feeling of Kaneki grinding against him becoming too much for Hide to bear, throat burning as a drawn out moan escaped him. He was so close, hips frantically moving against the ghouls, toes curling as he weakly wound his dangling legs around the ravens. 

“Ah-” Hide choked, and it was like something physically snapped inside him, that building pressure being released. It was like a flood gate had opened, and hide shuddered at just how much he managed to cum, the blond figuring after the night before there might have been nothing left inside him. He was blinking rapidly, trying to rid himself of the blinding white screen of his climax, looking to the side with a bit of confusion as Kaneki lowered them down to the floor. 

He was seated in the ghouls lap, back pressed against the side of the bed, thighs squeezing Kanekis hips between them as his heels dug into the ghouls firm ass. His spine curved like a bow, arching as the hands on his back slid around to his font, fingers dragging through the cooling semen, sweat, and saliva. Hide threw his head back, the edge of the mattress digging into his neck, mouth open in a silent scream as Kaneki pushed inside him without preparation. 

He was in agony, insides burning deliciously, throwing his arms up to violently yank at the sheets. Flames curled and coiled around him, stemming from his groin, igniting each and every nerve in his body. He didn’t know whether to cry or moan, wide and watery eyes staring blindly up at the ceiling, the blond feeling as if hell had opened up beneath him and was making quick work of sucking his soul down into its depths. 

Kaneki didn’t miss a beat, pulling out and slowly burying himself in the blonds heat once more, the lack of lubrication absolute torture. Hide could swear he felt him in his bones, liquid fire coursing through his veins as the ghoul began to rock against him, his thrusts leisurely yet powerful. 

Their grunts and moans echoed through the room, Hide for the most part letting out strangled sobs, Kaneki beginning to pick up his pace. Surges of pleasure rocketed through Hide as his prostate was rammed without remorse, the head of Kanekis dick grinding against the swollen and abused gland, eliciting a beautiful and broken sound from the human each time without fail. 

He was writhing, begging for more, though his aching body was crying for the other to stop. Hide released the sheets, lifting his head before letting it fall forward, shaky fingers immediately twisting themselves in midnight locks. A burning desire pooled in his stomach, consuming him, and he was all too willing to give in.

“Kaneki-” the blond gasped, his erection swelling, throbbing as it was squished between the two of them. He pulled the ghouls head closer, nose a hairs length away from that obscure mask, thumbs slipping under the straps to pull it up only by a little; exposing the ghouls twisted grin. At first glance it would seem malicious, and cruel...but to Hide was more sad than anything else.

“I wonder what it would be like…” Kaneki ran his hands over the quivering muscles of Hides stomach, tongue roving over his teeth before continuing “...to cut you open...and we could watch from the inside as I fuck you” Hide gasps at a particularly hard thrust, Kaneki holding himself there “...We could see just how _deep_ I am”

The visual that came to mind was disgusting and morbid, yet Hide can’t help but tighten around the other, his mouth crashing down on Kanekis with a passion that seemed to surprise the ghoul. 

It hurt so much that Hide thought he was going to break in half, but still he ground down on to the cock buried in his ass, the raven stiff as the humans astonishingly sharp nails scraped over his scalp and down his neck. He made long angry gouges over Kanekis boney shoulder blades, legs shaking as he weakly fucked himself on the ghoul, tongue gliding over the others bottom lips as he practically begged to deepen the kiss. 

Kanekis laugh was breathy, the sound wavering as it hissed passed his teeth.

His voice hadn't been callous, or gleeful, but afraid. It was filled with the same bugs that festered and bred inside Hide, the insects that overflowed from both their mouths mingling as the ghoul pressed their lips together once again, tongue slithering passed Hides teeth to curl against the roof of his mouth.

Hide swallowed it all, the wave of sickness passing between them, feverishly jerking his hips down on to Kaneki as the ghoul in turn devoured his own anguish. 

He could feel it all, the indistinguishable pain that consumed his entire being, and the heavenly pleasure of his insides being stirred. The lewd squelching that sounded every time Kaneki entered him with a wet slap, the feeling of being hollowed out and filled beyond capacity, the smacking from their loud and messy kissing; it was all driving him insane.

“Kaneki!” Hide tore away from the kiss, the ghoul wasting no time in latching on to the humans neck, sucking furiously as his movements became frantic.

The blond rode out his orgasm, a searing heat ripping through his body as Kaneki plunged deep inside him continuously, finally ending with one powerful thrust that sent the bed knocking against the wall noisily.

Hide could feel Kaneki tremble, the ghoul gasping against his throat, swallowing his own moans as he released.

Everything was numb, time itself seeming to stand still as they sat there in eachothers embrace, the sound of their laboured breathing being the only thing that seemed to keep them tied down to reality.

“You...are one fucked up human” Kaneki pulls back, Hide curling his hand over the back of the ghouls neck, trying to prevent him from moving.

Despite how much pain he was in, Hide found himself laughing, shoulders shaking from the raspy snickering “...I know” his fingers slip up under the straps of Kanekis mask, the raven turning his head away as it clattered against the floor. 

Hide wasn’t sure what he expected to see, but it certainly wasn't unshed tears, and a brow creased with worry. 

“No matter what I do, I just can’t scare you, can I?” He sounded defeated, sighing as he blinked tiredly, Shifting uncomfortably as Hide held him in place.

There was more to this whole fiasco than Kaneki just trying to get a rise out of him, Hide knew that, but he wasn’t about to try and drag it out of the other right now when all he could really focus on was the pain; though Hide wasn’t sure if the anguishing throb was coming from his lower back, or his heart.

“You keep staring...with those eyes. Even with my fucking mask on it’s like you can still see me” Kaneki grits his teeth, Hide blinking lazily as he listened “I can’t escape that look that tells me you know what I am...you _knew_ what I was the whole time”.

Hide wished he had a bit more context to the ghouls babbling, the human wanting to pick the ghouls brain apart, find out what he was thinking and just what make him tick “Not the whole time. I mean, I figured it out by chance really, you’re not being obvious if that’s what you’re worried about” The blond offered a kind smile, wincing as he shifted forward “My mom says I’m really...intuitive”

“Smart woman…”

“Yeah...” Hides eyes shifted, a lump forming in his throat.

“She really didn’t raise a bright kid” Kaneki said dryly, arms tightening around the human “Willingly walking right in to a ghouls hands. What the hell...were you thinking?” he frowned, letting out a shuddering breath as if he were holding back a storming rage.

“I’ll admit, I don't make the best decisions” Hide ran his hand along Kanekis shoulder, watching as the muscles beneath his fingertips visibly twitched “...Though contrary to your belief, I don’t consider sticking around you to be one of them, ghoul or not”.

Kaneki stays silent, nose wrinkling.

“-If my _mom_ knew what you were, she would be the one to call the CCG, not me. _She'd_ do it in a heartbeat, trust me. Not...that I’m going to tell her...or anything” Hide spoke softly, studying the ghouls darkening expression.

“You still think you’re getting out of this alive” Kaneki stared over at his wall of horrors with a sullen gaze, as if he was picturing himself putting Hide on display with the rest of his mismatched limbs and organs, the visions practically displaying themselves in those mournful eyes.

“Well aren't I?” Hides smile faltered, grimacing as he leaned in to press his forehead to the ghouls temple, staring down with a thoughtful gaze at the place where their bodies remained connected “I mean...you’d get pretty lonely otherwise”

And like the drop of a hat, Kaneki choked, ugly tears overflowing.

The tears of a monster...

The tears of regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cant tell if that was really boring or if I'm extremely tired...
> 
>  
> 
> **Also for those who are concerned, this NOT an entirely non-con story. I am trying to set up a fucked up relationship scenario to portray a.... non-romanticized back story type deal. I feel like a P.O.S. for writing this, believe me.**
> 
>  
> 
> Also yes, Hide does need to go to the hospital after getting his fucking ass shredded like that.


End file.
